Planning - Jul 2, 2026
The Day Everything Changes — And I’ve Been Missing It
By Tara Bansal
Published July 2, 2026
I have been a financial planner for more than 20 years. I have helped families think through retirement, college savings, estate plans, and just about every financial transition life throws at you. And yet, until recently, I had completely overlooked one of the most significant legal and financial transitions a family can go through.
When a child turns 18.
I’m not talking about opening a checking account or helping them understand a budget, (although those things matter too). I’m talking about something more fundamental. On the day your child turns 18, you — as a parent — lose your automatic legal right to access their medical information, make decisions on their behalf, or even speak with their college about their grades or a disciplinary matter.
I found this out through a conversation with Paul Stafford, an estate planning specialist I met through a professional mastermind group. He brought it up almost casually. And I thought, how have I never stopped to think about this? After more than 20 years of being a financial planner, it was a blind spot I didn’t know I had. And I suspect I’m not the only one.
That conversation was the motivation behind our webinar, “Turning 18 & Flying Solo,” a partnership between Princeton Global and Paul Stafford’s company, Flying Solo. We wanted to bring this topic to families in a way that felt accessible and real, not overwhelming. What follows are the highlights of what we covered.
The relationship stays the same. The law just changed.
Imagine getting a call that your child has been in a serious accident. You rush to the hospital. You’re terrified. And then — the doctors won’t talk to you. Not because they don’t want to. Because legally, your 18-year-old is now an adult, and without the right documents in place, your access to their medical information is not guaranteed.
As Paul describes it: “We assume as parents that we still have automatic access. But hospitals, because of HIPAA, now legally protect the adult child’s privacy.” It’s a sad moment to find that out. And it’s entirely preventable.
This is not just about a worst-case scenario. It also applies to your child’s college records. If there’s a disciplinary issue, a financial question, or a concern about their academic standing, most universities will not speak with parents unless your child has signed a FERPA release. Many families discover this the hard way.
None of this means you lose your relationship with your child. It just means the law changed. And you get to decide, as a family, how to address it.
It’s more than the paperwork.
When people think about this topic, they usually jump straight to documents. HIPAA authorization, medical power of attorney, FERPA release, financial power of attorney. These are real, and they matter. But in my experience, and Paul’s, the documents are only one piece of a much bigger picture.
More than 70 percent of people have done no in-depth estate planning. And the reason isn’t that they don’t care. It’s that the process feels complicated, the conversations feel uncomfortable, and life is busy. Teenagers are busy. Parents are busy. And this particular transition — filled with graduations and college move-ins and new beginnings — doesn’t leave a lot of space to stop and say, “Hey, can we take care of and have you sign some legal documents?”
What I’ve come to believe, and what Paul has seen firsthand in over 20 years of estate planning work, is that families who have these conversations early are more prepared, more connected, and better equipped when life gets complicated. The conversations are worth more than the documents. And the documents are worth a lot more when they’re built around those conversations.
There are also financial changes that happen at 18 that many parents don’t realize are automatic. If you set up a UGMA or UTMA account for your child when they were young — a custodial savings account — that account legally becomes theirs at 18. No paperwork, no notice. It just transfers. If this applies to you, it’s worth a conversation with your financial advisor.
The documents you actually need.
Here is a plain-language overview of the core documents Paul recommends for any family navigating this transition:
HIPAA Authorization. This allows healthcare providers to share your child’s medical information with the people your child designates. Without it, you may not be able to get information in an emergency. This is often the most important document to have in place.
Medical Power of Attorney. This grants decision-making authority to a trusted person if your child is incapacitated and cannot make their own healthcare decisions. It’s not about control — it’s about having someone you trust ready to step in.
Financial Power of Attorney. This allows a trusted person to manage financial matters on your child’s behalf. There are different versions — general, limited, immediate, or “springing” (which only takes effect under specific conditions). Paul recommends working through those details with guidance, so the document fits your family’s actual situation.
FERPA Release. This gives colleges and universities permission to share educational records with designated individuals, typically parents who are helping pay for school. Some schools include this in their enrollment process, but it’s worth confirming.
One important note: these documents vary more than you might expect across different states. If your child moves to a new state for college or a first job, it’s worth reviewing them again.
And beyond the formal documents, Paul also encourages families to have a conversation about a few practical things that rarely get written down:
- Who would your child call in an emergency?
- What is a family code word you could use to verify identity in a crisis — especially with AI-generated voice scams becoming more common?
- Does your child have a digital legacy contact set up on their phone?
These are simple steps that can make a real difference.
We put together a one-page summary of all of this — the key documents, the next steps, and the questions worth asking as a family. You can download it here and keep it handy as you get started.
Independence isn’t the goal. Interdependence is.
Here’s something Paul said in our webinar that has stayed with me. For a long time, I thought my job as a parent was to raise an independent child. Happy, capable, self-sufficient. I think most parents would say the same thing.
But Paul reframed it in a way I hadn’t considered. He pointed out that pure independence — the kind where a young adult goes fully solo, stops seeking input, stops leaning on family and friends — can quietly become isolation. And isolation, over time, can actually slide into a negative way of being. One that’s harder to see and harder to address.
The healthiest families Paul has observed don’t aim for independence. They aim for interdependence. And there’s a meaningful difference.
“Independence means I can stand on my own,” Paul says. “Interdependence means I don’t have to stand alone.”
An interdependent young adult can make their own decisions — but still seeks wisdom from others. They can handle their own finances — but knows where to turn when they need help. They have privacy, but not secrecy. Freedom, but not disconnection.
Turning 18 shouldn’t end family involvement. It should shift it. The relationship changes to something more mutual, more equal. And that shift, when it’s handled with intention, can actually bring families closer.
That’s what all of this is really about. The documents are a tool.
The conversations are the point.
And the goal — for your child and for your family — is to stay connected as everything around you changes.
How to actually get this done.
This is usually where people get stuck. Not because they don’t want to do it, but because the logistics feel overwhelming. Do you need an attorney? How much does it cost? How do you get everyone in the same room? Do we need to get everyone in the same room?
Paul’s answer, and I think it’s a good one is – done is more important than perfect.
There are three paths forward.
Free online tools can be a reasonable starting point, though quality varies widely. If it looks too simple, trust your instincts.
Guided online platforms combine technology with professional drafting behind the scenes. These can be a cost-effective middle ground and are what Paul often uses to help clients move efficiently.
Attorney-directed planning is the right choice when your family’s situation involves more complexity — such as a child with a disability, blended family dynamics, business ownership, or a need for truly customized documents. In the right circumstances, a good attorney is well worth every penny.
The best approach, as our handout says, is the one that gets completed. Take one step this week, even if it is a small one.
A final thought.
Paul closed our webinar with an idea from the counseling world: the J curve. Sometimes things get a little harder before they get easier. Having these conversations with an 18-year-old — who may feel invincible and have no interest in thinking about incapacitation or legal documents — can feel awkward at first. That’s okay.
What we’re really doing, in these conversations, is helping our children to start thinking beyond themselves. It’s not just about documents. It’s about helping them understand that they are now part of a family that looks out for each other, and that they have a voice and role in that, too.
The relationship stays the same. The law just changed. And now you know.
Interested in learning more?
If this article raised questions for your family, we’d love to talk. Whether you’re a current Princeton Global client or simply exploring whether this kind of planning makes sense for you, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us.
You can also connect with Paul Stafford directly through Flying Solo at Paul@FlyingSoloWell.com.
You can also download our one-page reference guide, “Turning 18: What to Do Next,” to keep handy as you take your next steps.
These conversations don’t have to be complicated. Sometimes a 15-minute phone call is all it takes to know what your next step should be. We’re here to be with you, whenever you’re ready.
Tara Bansal, CFP®